“Well, in our country,” said Alice, still panting a little,
“you’d generally get to somewhere else — if you run very fast for a long time, as we’ve been doing.”
“A slow sort of country!” said the Queen.
“Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.”
I know how Alice felt. I feel that way, alot, these days. Running and panting, and well, after all that, still feeling like I can’t even keep up to the same place or same pace. Whatever race I’m running–kids’ events, groceries, laundry, work–I certainly don’t feel like I’m winning the race. I’m not trying to win, or even place. I’m just trying to not fall over into the infield and get disqualified…
What I need to do is go to Him and rest. Rest. The thought almost makes me laugh. I spent the last “Sabbath” working a twelve-hour shift. How on earth am I to rest? How can I “be still and know that I am God” when every time I sit down long enough to be still, I fall asleep?:)
“Come to me all who labor, and I will give you rest.”
Quite a contrast from the Red Queen, isn’t it? Resting in God doesn’t necessarily mean inaction. I still have to go to the store, cook meals, educate our children, clean the house (well, maybe that’s optional), take care of all my people, etc. Resting in God means intentional living, but living totally directed by the Spirit. In some ways, that’s alot harder than having a whole list of rules to follow, because you have to listen. Listen for what He does and doesn’t want you to do, then do it.
Running around, jumping on any and every opportunity that presents itself without seeking the Lord is a recipe for disaster. Trying to force what we think is His will, but not in His time NEVER helps–cause if it’s not His timing, well, it’s not really His will, is it? Remember Sarah, Abraham and Ishmael? Enough said about that! It’s “be still and know that I am God,” even if I’m simply still in my spirit as I’m washing dishes or clothes or children, teaching grammar, or working at the hospital, none of which lends itself to being still with my body:). Being still and knowing He is God right now for me means believing He is in charge and He will provide either the job or the money we need, and give me the strength to say “no” to all those tempting opportunities that are distractions from what He really wants for me, the strength to do what He wants and the strength to rest when He wants.
I know I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I have peace about working more. It’s not always pretty. School doesn’t look the same when I’m at work–neither does supper or anything else, but well, we’re working on it. I am having a difficult time having the physical/mental/spiritual/creative energy and time to write or blog or paint or much of anything other than the basics right now. It’s a pity, because I’ve found how energizing these things are for me, and somehow working things out “on paper” help me work things out in my heart and mind.
A few weeks ago I told my friend I could get up early and either exercise or paint or blog, but only one of the three. Now, I’m having a hard time getting up early to do any of the three because of everything else I’m doing. Right now, I can’t do it all–be the mom and wife I need to be and blog and paint and be creative. So, if there’s anyone out there, I need you to know my posts will be more erratic while I’m in this season. I’m praying it’s a short season, but since that’s out of my control, I’m also praying “not my will, but yours.” So if you recognize some posts, yes, I’m reposting more, if they’re relevant to what’s going on in my life at the moment. I am learning to be still and know Him and rest in Him and the yoke He has set for me.