Happy birthday, Blue Eyes

She was our miracle baby. After infertility issues for many years, we thought our family was complete–one girl, one boy. I had prayed for healing, but it had not come; God had used medication instead to allow us to have our own children, and I was OK with that. Out of the blue, suddenly, I was shocked to find I was expecting another baby–giddy and in disbelief that now, in my early 30’s God had healed me and brought another sweet baby into our lives. I went to the doctor to try to figure out how far along I was, and received an ultrasound. No baby to be seen. Positive test, no baby on the screen. After blood work to confirm, I went home, stunned again, to wait for the results. I was pregnant, according to the lab, but the doctor said this baby had not made it. There was nothing to do but wait for the inevitable.

We went on vacation with my parents as planned and I sat on the beach, watched the waves and wondered. How could this happen? How could God heal me and then allow this to happen? I’d already lost one baby. To miss holding yet another precious baby was almost more than I could bear. There were many sleepless hours of silent tears. I know the Holy Spirit was interceding for me because I simply had no words. As the week wore on, I felt physically more exhausted and ill. We came home and I called my doctor, wondering what to do.

Another visit to the doctor, a new ultrasound. I could not watch the screen. It seemed to take forever. Suddenly my doctor turned around the screen and turned on the sound. There was my tiny baby, heart thundering away. My doctor was the one to look rather shocked. He said perhaps the lab had mistakenly read my blood work, but he didn’t know how this had happened. I did. This baby was a double blessing. I was healed and then when I thought I would have to give her back to God, He gave her back into my care once again and it has been such a privilege to be her mother. Happy birthday, Blue Eyes!

Blue Eyes and her Daddy

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5 Comments

Filed under Birthdays, Family, Gratitude

5 responses to “Happy birthday, Blue Eyes

  1. katie

    She has grown up so quickly!

    I know what you mean about infertility. K’s now 10 and it just seems as if that’s God’s intention for us, but I struggle to accept that. I have two wonderful girls that I love, but my heart cries out with desire. I love family life.

  2. katie

    I know. I spent my whole masters degree wondering how faith communities can support women through this, but it tends to be such a silent place. No one talks about it. Those of us with children try to acknowledge the blessings we already have. Those without children suffer terribly, but quietly.

  3. Pingback: Thankful Thursday | That's What I Know

  4. Pingback: For my Blue Eyes, on her birthday | never picture perfect

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