The school day done, my children scattered to different corners of the house. The older two are involved in a long drawn out story with a Playmobil castle and Puppies in My Pocket. The younger two are behind me, making pizza and ice cream cones with playdough. My thoughts are scattered as I attempt to create some order in the house. I’m in the middle of week four of school; washing, ironing, and hanging clothes and sorting, packaging and tagging toys, shoes, books and curriculum for a consignment sale in two weeks; getting some items ready to sell on eBay; preparing for a cousin birthday party noon on Friday; and gearing up to work a three-day weekend. As an undercurrent to all this I’m still coming to terms with hard truths I’ve learned the last two weeks, grieving what will no longer be at a place I’ve been so long, and navigating the uncertain waters of my husband’s unemployment and attempt to start a small side business while getting ready for a job search.
I’m overloaded emotionally, physically wearing down, and catching the cold my children have passed around the last week. How much do I have to deal with at once? I can’t take all this much longer, I wonder to myself.
Suddenly, like an old radio warming up, I come out of my reverie and hear her. My six-year-old is humming quietly to herself. I wonder if she even realizes it, but then she starts singing the words:
Heav’nly peace/divinest comfort/Here by faith in Him to dwell
For I know whate’re befalls me/Jesus doeth all things well
She knows the all the words to the first verse. She knows it. My husband has been helping our children learn this over the last two weeks, and even last night I was wondering if it was sinking in. It did.
And as she sings, it sinks into me too. Whatever befalls me, Jesus doeth all things well. Jesus. Not me, certainly. I can’t do all things well. Thankfully, I don’t have to. I can turn it over to Him, since none of this surprises Him in the least. I can dwell here by faith in Him and take comfort in Him. The situation hasn’t changed. It’s still sad and hard and I still feel betrayed and misled and wounded, but I can whisper it all to Him, and the Comforter already knows how to start the healing. I think He already did.
My husband and I started our lives together with this song at our wedding. His brother Jeff sang it. We wanted to declare that our Savior would be the one to lead us, and He has. It’s not on the top 10 worship list. It’s not hip or trendy. But it’s true, and that’s even better. He lead us in the past and He leads us now and I have faith He always will.