Now I’m not Baptist and I’m enjoying studying different aspects of Christianity. Is Lent necessary? Am I going to hell if I don’t participate? No. Can it be a form of legalism? Yep. But so many things in the church can become legalistic if we let them. If used as a time to pause and reflect, to “be still and know that I am God,”  I think it can be very helpful, at least in my life.

So here’s what’s in the works at our house. First, my husband and I are reading a lovely book, Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter. It’s a great devotional book. There are readings for every day by famous authors–from Dorothy Sayers to C.S. Lewis to Martin Luther, Madeleine L’Engle and people in between. I highly recommend it! It is over most of my children’s heads, so I have other activities planned for us as a family. I’ve listed more than you can use, but take a look:

Here’s a website with some nice Lenten ideas, called Domestic-Church.com:Fridge Art. I especially like the Lenten Cross, an advent-type reading set for Easter. It gives readings for every day, walking through the Bible and retelling the story from creation to crucifixion, the prophecies that were fulfilled and concentrating on why Jesus came for us.  From Creche to Cave gives an idea to make your own little tomb and figures for your children to use in their play, as you read the story of Jesus to your little ones.

Here’s an interesting page on the history of Lent and how it’s 40 days long even if it’s 46 days til Easter.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t link to Ann’s thoughts and practices of Lent, that are so much clearer than mine:). I have the Advent/Lent wreath Ann’s son made and am planning on using it this season as well.

As we walk toward Resurrection Sunday, here are five activities to think about using to celebrate this most special day, then six more.  This year I’d like to add the Lenten Cross readings to our wreath time in the evenings. Today I’ll print out the sheet about the origin of Lent and talk about it and I hope we can make the cave at some point in the next few weeks. We already celebrate Passover and it truly is one of the highlights of the year for us. But these are just a few of the long list of activities. There are more activities here than any one family could do. I’m just giving you a variety, so you can choose a few that are right for your family. Start small and manageable. Rest assured, if you were to come to my home, we wouldn’t be tackling the entire litany of activities. Choose prayerfully and wisely and enjoy this time with the Lord and your family.

If you have any other ideas, please share them with us all under the comments. I love to see how other people practice and celebrate Lent!

Three gifts found behind doors:

• a lost barette
• older daughter reading Anne of Green gables to younger sister
• lovely tea-pot for  five minutes of solace

Three ways I feel the love of God:

• four sweet children making Valentines for each other
• quiet note of encouragement in my inbox
• through His love letter to His bride–His Word

Gift found in losing something, finding something and making something:

• Losing fifteen pounds–makes my old wardrobe feel new:)
• finding a site with gluten-free recipes I may someday get up the courage to try
• joy in making bread for my family, even if I know I can’t eat it

Three gifts in shadows

• that restless, unsettled feeling that reminds me to “be still and know I AM”
• shafts of sunshine through the clouds
• after 27 years of skin problems, finding the solution

Three gifts in giving/serving

• decluttering that becomes a large pile of things to take to Thriftsmart to bless others:)
• reminder that “I am not my own”
• Shabbat flowers my husband gives me without fail

Three gifts on paper

• Book of Zechariah
• paper on clearance for invitations
• a tiny, sweet not written by my five-year-old

Three gifts that were “plan B”

• conversation after church with three sweet friends
• a day spent in serving my family instead of painting
• An absolutely beautiful sunset–after the disappointment of lots of rain and little snow

• shamrocks readying themselves for St. Patrick’s Day
• February blooming tree
• sunshine behind the shadows

3 gifts red:

• perfect C chord on a red ukulele
• red pot of paperwhites
• red holly berries, waiting for the cedar waxwings’ arrival

a gift broken, a gift fixed, a gift thrifted:

• broken toy, fixed by Grandad for Doodlebug
• tattered camo pants, fixed by Grandmama for Scooter Man
• $4 silk skirt from Goodwill for Happy Girl’s Father-Daughter dance

3 gifts that were surprises-unexpected grace!

• a wee little snow (and I do mean wee little bit–I have a layer of dust on my furniture thicker than that snowfall:))
• flowers from my husband
• a little extra time for clean-up

3 times you heard laughter today:

• cousins giggling over jokes
• family laughing at a movie
• after a sweet 5-year-old made a comment

3 gifts found in working:

• pride of a 10-year-old persevering to learn Scout promise, handshake and knots–then teaching them to us
• pile of consignment stuff, growing larger every day (yay less clutter!)
• another painting in process

3 hard eucharisteos:

• “Failure isn’t final in God”–heard in a sermon by visiting preacher
• realizing flour needs to leave my diet for good–the key to my complexion clearing up and more creativity in the kitchen, but sad to miss out on communion
• Realizing I can’t do everything and having to choose which things God wants me to do, not what I want to do

I still remember the haze and confusion that came next. My sister-in-law walking in with my dripping child. For some unknown reason, Misty walked out to the pool before leaving. Happy Girl  was underwater. No floundering. No cry for help. She had slipped or fallen in, no one there to see. Misty reached in and plucked her out of the water.

My heart still freezes when I think of that day. We mumbled thanks and said goodbye, too stunned and shocked at what might have been to hardly speak adequate words of gratitude to Misty and the Lord for saving our precious daughter. How could we have missed her? How were we so busy that we didn’t see what was happening? After the entire weekend of vigilance, thirty seconds of distraction nearly changed our lives forever.

Fast forward almost 10 years. She’s not 4 anymore. She’s thirteen. There are two more children in our family now, besides the two we had at the time. Even though we try to live intentionally, it seems to be racing along at breakneck speed some days. Teaching how to tie shoes, make beds, be kind to siblings, algebra, grammar, history, books of the Bible, how to play the ukulele, or piano or ballet, scouts, church, friends, and still having time to exercise, read the Bible, plan a garden, learn to paint or cook gluten-free takes up my days. In all the busyness of life, of teaching/feeding/caring for them, have I become distracted from them?

Parenting is hard. The constant balance between protecting them from the culture of the world– that like the cool, inviting water that day–would suck them in and drown them without a second thought and helping them learn how to live in the world but not of it, is grueling. How do you simultaneously teach them how to flee from the temptations of evil in this world and to have compassion on those caught in it? How do we learn to not be deceived by the spirit of the age, yet reach those who are?

I hope you’re not waiting for the answer here, because you’ll probably be dissatisfied. I don’t know the answers. You can’t parent out of fear. You can, but I don’t think the results are satisfactory. But according to research, 75-90 % of teens in the church leave the church by the end of their first year of college, and most don’t come back. What do we do with that? Keep trying the same old thing that seemed to not work on the previous generation, but hope it works better on our kids? I have no idea.

I do know it means our children–our teens–need our attention. Lots of it. I’ve heard people compare teenagers in general to toddlers. A repeat of that self-absorption, that trying so hard to be independent and yet putting themselves in situations they can’t quite manage. I know my toddlers kept me hopping. If it was quiet–too quiet–I knew something was up. It seems to be the same. As long as there is communication right now, things seem to be going well, even if there’s a disagreement, the lines of communication are still open so we can work through whatever is going on. It’s when the chatter ceases I start to wonder what’s going on, deep down in those young souls.

Childhood and the teen years are not the time to be distracted by your own life and stuff, which is hard, because most of the time when children are young, there are career issues or grad school, or new jobs or promotions or all kinds of stuff. None of which are bad, but it is so easy to get distracted by those things and miss your child wandering off to look into the pool of the big wide world, unaccompanied by you.

Of course the best strategy would be to teach them to swim in and through this world culture, with you there in the water with them, holding on to them, then with floaties a little on their own, then practicing until they are proficient swimmers. Even then, it’s always best to swim with a buddy. Even excellent swimmers can drown, given the right (or wrong) circumstances. This process of teaching our children to swim through life is not easy. Sometimes I’d rather be under an umbrella reading a book:). But I can’t.

I have to be in the water with them, showing them the strokes, how to tread water when they get too weary, how to come to the side and get out, how to call for help, and how to allow themselves to be rescued if they get in trouble. Sometimes my timing is off: I catch them too soon, when they appear to be floundering but are only trying to get the rhythm of their stroke. Sometimes I think they’re just splashing in the water having fun, not realizing they are in over their head and almost miss the need to scoop them out of the water.

There is no perfect one size fits all parenting plan that will meet the needs of all my children, and I doubt there’s one for yours either. While the goals are the same, sometimes the techniques are different, which involves constant observation and a reworking of the plan based on the child, the situation, and what I’m hearing from the Spirit.

And we don’t have to teach them all alone. There are grandparents, teachers at church, parents of friends to help along the way, but ultimately God entrusts our children (His children) to us. We have to lean not on our own understanding, but trust the Lord to help us do what’s best for those He loves even more than we do.

Take courage moms and dads! You’re not in this alone. Ask the Holy Spirit, who longs to help you (it’s His job after all!) and walk with you, for His guidance. With fear and trembling, but with confidence and trust in the Lord and His will, we can do this.

Three old things seen new:

• old friendships restored and renewed
• old quilts from long-gone hands–a legacy of love and warmth
• Pilgrim’s Progress and our own journey

A gift found on paper, in person, and in a picture:

• Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson–a must read for anyone raising a boy
• time for tea and talk with Beth
• a new picture of two apples and an orange that is taking shape

Gifts found at 11:30 am, 2:30 pm, and 6:30 pm:

• cheese pies spilling yummy goodness all over the baking stone
• a bevy of emails, and (finally) grass fed beef found
• wisps of clouds racing over the moon before the storm

3 gifts overheard today:

• my little girl humming “How great is our God”
• hearing my husband patiently leading his four children on 2 djembes and 2 ukeles during family worship time (the Bible does say does say make a joyful noise )
• cardinal declaring an early spring

3 gifts found in writing:

• “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it…” Psalm 127:1
• “Debt means enslavement to the past, no matter how much you want to plan well for the future and live according to your own standards today. Unless you’re free from the bondage of paying of your past, you can’t responsibly live in the present and plan for the future.” Tsh Oxenreider in Organized Simplicity
• “Let us not forsake our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:25

3 gifts found when bent down:

• prayer for and with friends, with tears,gratitude, forgiveness and blessing all mixed together
• snowdrops peaking through the mulch
• sticky hugs and kisses from my 5-year old

one gift stitched, one woven,

• My mother patiently teaching my little girl to use the sewing machine
• a new pair of exercise pants–one size smaller:)
• friends to gather with, for fellowship, food, and fun, even if I didn’t know who was playing in that big game…

ARTS AND CRAFTS

These first activities require a little assistance from Mom or Dad, so they are not available at all times.

Coffee filter cut-out hearts–I found this activity at Artful Parent. Very easy–cut coffee filters into hearts, then cut out shapes like you would a snowflake, then paint with watercolors. Just remember to paint sparingly or the coffee filter will tear. You could also leave the cut hearts white and then paint some coffee filter hearts that did not have cut outs. Both would look nice in a window.

Tissue paper stained glass hearts–My Montessori Journey (you’ll have to scroll down on the page to find the activity) has the most wonderful ideas! Several of these from February 2010 made their way to my shelves, including this one. Basically, cut small squares of tissue paper and allow the kids to stick them to a smallish square of clear contact paper that has the backing removed. Once finished, I put another piece of contact paper on top, cut them in heart shapes, and hung them in the window.

Heart stencils. I drew around all my heart-shaped cookie cutters, using a file fodder to make the stencil strong enough to stand up to paint and pencils in little hands. I showed them how to use stencils with paints and let them have at it. I think they had fun, don’t you?

MONTESSORI ACTIVITIES

A book I really like and my kids enjoy as well is Saint Valentine by Robert Sabuda. You can find it at most libraries or here if you want to buy it. It tells the story of St. Valentine with lovely pictures. Just so you know, this is a sad but uplifting book. The physician was a believer in Jesus, and was martyred for his faith. Personally, I want my children to understand the cost some people paid to follow Christ, but this needs to be up to you and your family. We prefer to focus on the love we have for our family members, and showing the love of Jesus to others, as opposed to cupid and that kind of love at Valentines. That being said, here are some activities going on my Montessori shelf.

Hammering hearts–I drew hearts with a magic marker on a thick piece of styrofoam. Then the kids can hammer golf tees into the styrofoam in the shape of a heart.

Water transfer–I used water tinted with food coloring, a bottle and dropper, and one of those plastic bathtub treads with tiny suction cups. Once turned upside down, they are perfect for little hands to fill. Make sure you include a little sponge to allow the children to help in the clean up. This is a great activity to strengthen hand and finger muscles for writing.

Shape sorting–one of my daughters got these plastic jewels as a gift and they work very well for sorting.  They are pretty to look at and using the tweezers strengthens the muscles and coordination in preparation for writing.

Feather transfer–another idea from My Montessori Journey. I used some feathers, a heart bucket and a little clothes pin. Feathers are irresistible to kids. I had plenty of volunteers to demonstrate this activity!

Spooning sand–my daughter got this glass heart-shaped bottle at Michael’s. She had made a design with different colored sands, but it shifted and all the colors combined. I took it all out, added a funnel, spoon and bowl and let the kids fill up the jar. Once it’s full they dump the sand back into the bowl. There’s also a tiny sweeper and dustpan to clean up any sand they spill.

Of course, making pink and white play dough and using heart cookie cutters would be fun too. Take these ideas and look around your house and see what you have available to use. Or run to the Dollar store or the Michael’s or Joannes near you. Most of this stuff is really cheap–tissue paper, coffee filters, water-color paints, feathers. The glass bottles and droppers I purchased from Montessori Services. They are quite useful, inexpensive and the kids love using them in a variety of activities.

RECIPES

One of my favorite recipes, other than sugar cookies in the shape of hearts, is peppermint patties. They are so easy and I cut mine into heart shapes before I dip them in chocolate for a seasonal look. Of course they’re quite tasty left round too:). They require peppermint oil instead of peppermint extract, but you can probably find it in the cake decorating department at Michael’s or Joanne’s. If you live in Nashville, I got mine at Sugar Drop on Church Street in Brentwood. It takes very little peppermint oil because it is so strong, but it lasts a long time too.

Meringues are quite yummy as well. Either flavored with peppermint or chocolate, you can pipe them into heart shapes, and even tint them pink. Just don’t try to make these on a humid or rainy day. Too much moisture in the air will not allow the egg whites to inflate properly and you’ll have sad meringues. For peppermint meringues, just use a plain meringue recipe, but add 1/2 tsp peppermint extract(not oil) and a bit of red food coloring. I like mine soft on the inside, instead of chalky, so I cook my meringues at 275 degrees for about 30 minutes or so, which is a lot less than the two hours many people do. If you want to make them even yummier, melt some dark chocolate chips and smear them on the flat side of the meringue, then leave the flat side facing up until the chocolate dries. Yummy!

I hope you can take some of these ideas and use them with your kids. Be creative with what you have! Improvise and just have fun with your kids–that’s really what it’s all about, right?

Three gifts found in Christ:

• conviction of sin by the Holy Spirit that leads to repentance and forgiveness, as opposed to condemnation by the enemy that leads to guilt and lack of hope
• grace that is greater than ALL my sin!
• boundless love

Three things blue

• blue campanulas (lasting two weeks!) from my dearest one, to celebrate the Sabbath and brighten up the kitchen
• winter blue sky with whisky white clouds
• four blue-eyed children, on loan from the Father

One grace borrowed, one grace found, one grace inherited

• a borrowed copy of 1000 Gifts to reread again
• finding my copy of The Life by Michael Card
• watching my mother soak in the Word every day when I was a child–I hope I have inherited her strength of devotion and love for the Lord and his words!

One gift before 9am, gift before noon, gift after dark

• quiet time to read through Zechariah in the early morning
• freshly baked bread
• a tiny sliver of a moon rising, pointing toward the sunset on the other end of the sky

Three gifts that might have never been

• husband giving ukulele lessons to my 5 and 7 year olds-more music for worship time!
• tacos, brownies, Cars 2, and talks around the dinner table with friends-forging new connections and a determination to move forward
• time alone with my eldest daughter

3 graces found in your friends

• laughter of friends over humus, kabobs and conversation
• perseverance in troubled times
• commitment to family in a culture that will not commit to anything

A song heard, a soft word, where you saw light

• Communion Song by Rich Mullins-a song of peace 
• an “I love you Mommy” during snuggle time with my little one
• sunrise over the hills

1. hot soups and lovely conversations
2. shared burdens before the Lord to lighten the load
3. my first finished painting after 10 hours of lessons!
4. Job 13:15
5. Daniel 3:16-18
6. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
7. sweet young ones who love to help in the kitchen
8. a tornado warning system to send us scurrying to the walk-in crawl space ahead of the storm
9. spontaneous dinner with traveling friends and time to catch up
10. watching a 13-year old’s passion for the least of these stretch us all
11. re-reading “Bringing Up Boys” and appreciating anew the God-given differences between my boys and girls
12. my passport in the mail–one step closer to a trip to Ethiopia to pick up another wee little nephew with my sister late this year
13. a wisp of a rainbow that lasted only a moment
14. planning family times with eager anticipation
15. a messy table, covered with glue, paint, paper bits–and the busy, creative children who make it all worthwhile
16. a (different) tornado warning in the middle of the night, that the kids slept through as the worst of the weather went north
17. a misunderstanding that lead to forgiveness extended and received on both sides
18. hearing a mourning dove after the storm
19. uninterrupted time for a birthday brunch for a friend
20. talking through decisions with wise counsel
21. Singing “Tis so sweet” with my children and asking in faith “Oh for grace to trust you more!

First off Job. Satan is given permission to take almost everything Job has–his wealth, his children, his health. Then his wife encourages him to curse God and die, and his friends are well, less than encouraging, but Job replies to all this

“Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.” (Job 13:15)

Next was the favorite of all Bible stories, the fiery furnace. Faced with the options of death at the hand of the Babylonian king or bowing down to an idol, they chose death. The king gives them one more chance to choose a fiery death or bowing down to the idol. They reply:

” If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. “But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Daniel 3:16-18)

Then Paul, with his thorn in the flesh. He asked three times for God to remove it. I’m sure the three times weren’t three, “Umm, God could you take this away?” I’m sure this was deep intercession and prayer and fasting. This is Paul after all, but what did he get for his pleading?

“But he said to me, ”My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.(2 Cor 12:9-10)

Three situations: grief and loss, a walk through a furnace so hot the ropes burned off and the captors burned up on the way, and a thorn in the flesh. Three times God could have intervened in what we would have said was a supernatural way that would have made the pain go away. He could have brought the children back to life, He could have caused the king to die and the boys not be thrown in the fire, and He could have removed the thorn in Paul’s flesh, be it physical ailment, a temptation that seemed too strong, or whatever.

But He didn’t.

Job’s children were still dead. For always. They didn’t come back, ever. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego walked into the furnace. Paul kept his thorn. They all went through the blood, sweat and tears of life. God didn’t take it away. We do people a great disservice when we tell them “just believe in God and your life will be great! Nothing bad will ever happen if you just believe and ask hard enough and have enough faith. He’ll heal you (or your child)/take away the temptation for the sin you find yourself enmeshed in/give you all the money you need.”

Well, He CAN do all those things. And sometimes He does. But, in His wisdom, sometimes He doesn’t. Sometimes, the flood sweeps every possession you have away, and there is no insurance to buy more and you are left with nothing but the clothes on your back. Sometimes the critically ill child isn’t healed, and he dies. Sometimes the job doesn’t come and you don’t get to keep your house. Sometimes God doesn’t take away those sinful desires though you ask with all your heart. Sometimes your spouse doesn’t come back.

God can use anything and everything the world throws at you–whatever depths of depravity you’ve sunk to, whatever financial catastrophe that has befallen you, whatever has happened (both in and out of your control) to your children or your health, or if your marriage is disintegrating right before your eyes. Satan wants us to “curse God” and die. God wants us to call on Him, and trust Him and love Him with all that we have and run to Him. He wants us to run into His arms, so He can be with us always, even to the ends of the earth. He wants to walk with us through the grief and the fire and the thorn. We all have a choice. Are you going be a nevertheless person or not?

These three situations in the Bible show us that sometimes, the better outcome results from walking through the loss or the fire or the thorn with the Comforter. God talked to Job. Then He eventually restored his wealth, health and ten more children. It never would have happened if Job hadn’t been a righteous man who lost everything, but nevertheless chose to persevere in his faith in God’s goodness.

Our three Israeli boys walked with Jesus! In the fire. They walked through fire with the Light of the World. It never would have happened if they hadn’t been thrown in the furnace–for obeying God’s law rather than man’s.

Paul’s thorn and his acceptance of the burden–and God’s refusal to remove it–led to Christ’s power resting on Paul. His weakness gave room for the manifestation of Christ’s power in his life, and Paul could then boast of his weakness instead of despair that it wasn’t taken away. His own personal weakness gave a powerful testimony to the power of Jesus to change lives.

So, God is able to remove or fix or heal__________(enter your deepest sorrow or most wretched situation or worst temptation here), but He may choose to allow it to stay in my life. Nevertheless, I will hope in Him, I will praise Him, I will trust Him to give me the grace I need to walk through the situation (with Him on the path with me), I will believe He will never leave me or forsake me.

It’s a matter of our will.

Our choice which path we choose–one,  deceiving path of despair that blames God for our hardship,  as we run away from God.  The other, the path of hope that trusts Him as we run into His arms, and walk with Him on this path of life, grasping tightly to His hand, refusing to take a step without that still, small voice saying “This is the way. Walk in it.” Both paths WILL, at some point, lead through the valley of the shadow of death. Guaranteed. But the journey through the valley depends which of the two paths we choose. No one can make that choice for us.  Choose right now. Will this be a nevertheless day? A nevertheless battle? A nevertheless life? Ask the Lord for the courage to make it so in your life.

1. purple Campanulas from my husband to celebrate the Sabbath
2. cheery primroses in the grocery store
3. catching up with a friend while our children played
4. lemon juice to make my favorite Best Lemon Chicken
5. a rare, sweet winter strawberry
6. farm fresh eggs with marigold yellow yolks to start every morning afresh
7. happy yellow plates that hold snowmen pancakes to surprise my young ones
   

   Snowman pancakes in anticipation of the snow:)

8. the love and gatherings of the week in my yellow kitchen
9. wispy frozen clouds that suggest a wee bit of snow on the way
10. 3/4 of an inch of snow on the ground (briefly) and the kids who were as ecstatic as if it had been three inches:)
    

    A Nashville snow

11. reading in bed as my Doodlebug snuggled in and fell asleep, safe from his bad dream
12. rain on the tin roof of our back porch
13. the neighborhood red hawk’s cries
14. the wind rattling through the last few dead, brown leaves
15. an impromptu dinner with friends–soup and planning our first overnight backpacking trip
16. an even more unexpected dinner with far-flung family brought close–laughing and playing games with uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents
17. time spent painting with my children and loving the creativity God gives so freely
18. hand-knit scarf for those chilly southern days
19. sweet generosity of my daughter choosing who she’d like to give some of her dress-up clothes to (without prompting!)
20. a fresh start for my other daughter in piano, after a year “off” due to our financial difficulties, and how happy it makes her to play again
21. putting dates on the calendar for special one-on-one Daddy time with each of the kids, a father-daughter dance at church, and mother-son movie marathons–and the smiles it puts on my children’s faces
22. a first-time mother holding her baby, with love in her eyes and a smile on her face
23. finally making it through the first two weeks of Phase one of the South Beach diet–and losing 10 pounds:)

It’s never to late to join the Joy Dare! Find the treasure God scatters through your day and be grateful!